Brokered Deal



We travel Train No : 6732. A train that we are very used to. Its just been a while.

Today, a ‘middle berth’ will keep me company for the 10 odd hours. And i climb in. The air is chill. And blankets and sheets are crisp. I am tired. All the travel is taking its toll. And soon i am sleeping.

Woken up, in some time, by a distinct rumble in the compartment. The gentleman at the berth right opposite is snoring. High decibel. When problems come, they come in battalions. This is one hell of sound battalion ! I look around for help. Everybody who i can see are are deep inside the blankets and sheets. They too are suffering, i think. And there is some vicarious pleasure.

I try sleeping. Then i realise that there are new snore variants from other passengers. Emboldened perhaps ! Sigh. I twist. And turn. In that middle berth. I call for divine intervention. I fume. If snoring can be a cause for divorce, can it be used to disembark a gent from a train ? I wonder.

In some time. My one and half year old nephew wakes up. I think i know why. Divine intervention, they say, comes in strange ways. I walk the vestibule with him. And this is what i spot.

At 2.30 AM, in the dead of night, with a crying nephew and a high decibel snorer for background score, standing near the litter box of train no : 6732, here i am. A poor tired soul, ready to make a speech on gender equality to the steel pipes metal doors there.

And then, i chance upon this.

These are guidelines in an emergency.
1. “Pull the chain, to stop the train“. That’s fairly simple, i think.
2. “In case of fire, use fire extinguisher available with the attendant” . Ok. So, upon spotting a fire, i have to run around and locate an attendant. And he will have a fire extinguisher. Which he will give me. Which i will know how to use. Which will work and help me extinguish fire. All this before i reach my destination. Seems plausible.
3. “To exit from the emergency window, follow instructions given on the window” . But where ? But where ? Where is the emergency window ? Then i find the answer written bright red, that emergency windows are coloured red. Aha. So, i go around looking for this window marked in red…when the coach is on fire. Aha. And then read the instructions there. Aha. And act. Aha. Neat. I think.
4. ‘If hammer is provided than break glass of hammer box, pick up the hammer and break window glass unit and exit“. If not, i mean…if hammer was not provided, then ? What if the hammer was used on an incredible high decibel snorer ? Then ? I shudder.
Suddenly i want to make peace with all my current troubles. And with that high decibel snorer.

All of our pain is relative. I realise that. Today divine intervention taught me that.

My nephew perhaps senses my quandary. And sleeps. I return. To the middle berth. And the background score. My peace made.

So what, if it was a brokered deal.

12 thoughts on “Brokered Deal

  1. Kavi, Just be grateful you got a full berth for yourself (that you paid for). We once travelled from Chennai to Kodaikanal Rd overnight, and an entire family descended on to our births, smiling and saying “we’ll adjust !”, and then whipped out dabbas filled with aromas of dosas and sambar. We were speechless with saliva.

    But there are several things you can do with a background score. Human /Electronic. I just discovered the latter in my latest blog 🙂

  2. When subject is not in my control I start using the same with more powerful sounds.
    :))

  3. Ranu says:

    Man I totally know how you feel!!! You are totally tired with all the rap-chik things in the day and at night when you go to bed you cant sleep…. bliss!!! you found the hammer enticing!!! I find everything in the wide world enticing !!! and guess what I am luckier than you!!! I dont have to climb a train for the sonorous experience!!!

  4. I agree with Ugich… I also travelled sometime back on Faluknamma with 7 people trying to occupy 3 seats with the “we’ll adjust” line! And, the TT had the temerity to request us to ‘adjust’ as well!!
    Also, have you been on a train with a baby next to you who wakes up at night every 2 hours?
    About the emergency stuff, maybe they should have some pretty train attendants do their safety demonstration at the start of the journey.. that should help!

  5. dinu says:

    beautiful narration ..
    were you writing this all the way 😛 just curious

  6. ♥ Braja says:

    Hope you were nice to those women, Kavi :)))

  7. I just imagined a little hammer to break fire extinguisher glass, then a big hammer to break window glass and a third hammer to break anything else that comes your way.

    the window glass in the train is very strong! real good quality glass and would not break that easily is my guess.

    all said Kavi, when there is an emergency, you will find a way!

    People have an amazing survival instinct when in small groups facing a common problem (unless the problem is another small group)!

    🙂

  8. Honestly such journeys teach you so much on how to face life!
    Like in your case….The uses of even an ordinary hammer . Right Kavi?
    🙂

  9. Kavi says:

    ugich konitari : Some things are relative ! And yes..sitting in a berth allocated to you…is definitely far too painful !!

    Hobo : more powerful sounds ?

    RAnu : You dont have to climb a train….awww !!! 🙂

    Roshini : Ah ! The crying baby reminds me of my nephew ! 🙂

    aND SAfety demonstration…well, thats a super idea !

    Dinu : LOL ! Its just action replay ! 🙂

    Braja : I am. Always !

    Sundar : when there is an emergency, there is hope…life runs on hope !~

    RAndom Thoughts : bang on !! 🙂

  10. ashok says:

    super post… 🙂

  11. nsiyer says:

    I snore, Kavi. My wife tells me that if I don’t snore, she gets worried thinking whether I am dead.
    Pl. do not use the hammer on me.

  12. Cris says:

    lol this was nice! Aha!

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