Thank God for ‘spell check’ !

To me sub-standard work is a reflection of your attitude to the reader. Be it spelling errors or grammatical errors or atrocious abbreviations” So wrote a friend. ( It was not directed at me. Really).

As the words registered, a shudder went through the spine that, could have been felt in Greece. Obviously it wouldn’t have registered with the residents of Greece for they seem to other problems to solve. But for sure, my hair stood up. Reading the friend’s note.

Now, I must say, i have the highest regard for you. For you. Yes, you. You who is reading this sentence. For reading what i dish out. On an even keel i have the greatest regard for the chap who thought of ‘spell check’ !

For, If only it weren’t for ‘spell check’, my not getting lynched for mis-spelling would have been a function of the intensity of my prayer and great kindness in readers like you.

Having confessed to fundamental deficiencies, somehow seems to give me liberty to cock a snook at others in boats like mine !! Something like Afghanistan talking about India not being a safe place. Or India whining about Chinese cheap imports. And the Chinese preaching Human rights !

What can i do ? Blessed with a roving imagination and a compelling need to expend energy on things ‘that wont earn two rupees’ (as the missus puts it), the mind wanders to possibilities that mis-spellings throw up !

Like this one.
Seen outside a road side shop that fixes a punctured tyres. “TYRE PUNCHER” ! It screams. (Spell check couldn’t have spotted that). But then, imagine a Mike Tyson just ear away ( yes.. a ear away) from you, punching tyres with ferocity that befits a Evander Holyfield. Wouldn’t you feel insecure ?

Phew ! And there you are, having to fix a punctured one yourself ! That must be some predicament. Would it not be ?

Or take this example.
Spotted near the much advertised and spanking new Bandra-Worli sealink. If you keep to the left of the road, and pass Lilavati Hospital, you will of course come to a church. For many years, its been known as the Mount Mary church.

Until the time some men thought it fit to change Mary to merry ! Some deprived soul, must be. Or perhaps someone who was so much into merriment…! Or perhaps someone with a girlfriend called Mary… ! Possibilities abound, you see !
Of course, these are not big pearls of wisdom in this post.
With Hyderabad having so much of bandhs and shutdowns, i guess someone walked away with a vowel ! Nevertheless, just wanted to write in, saying a sincere word of thanks to readers like you. For coming back for more! And prodding me to venture into unchartered territory.
But seriously. What would i do without ‘spell check’ ! Phew !

14 thoughts on “Thank God for ‘spell check’ !

  1. I'm Nu says:

    I have also noticed so many of such errors every where…yes thanks for spell checks..but the adverse effect is we are loosing the power of instantly construct the spellings and sometimes even forgetting how a particular word is written..that’s what dependency does to you,han ?

  2. Neha says:

    phew – indeed..

    the moment I saw the title; I thought – why I didn’t think of this topic? that’s your magic 🙂

    those were some observations; especially the mount merry church one..

    thank god for spell check – seriously 🙂

  3. radha says:

    Kavi, some of the errors would still have gone past spellcheck – like punchers and merry. That is also a problem for those of us who depend quite a bit on the spellcheck. And sew(sea this one!) we may at times have a real bloomer despite all good intentions of the nice guy who made that program.

  4. Spellcheck notwithstanding (or even sitting), I just have the utmost admiration for the “puncher” chap,who at least tried to spell and communicate, probably never having formally learned English. (Compare him to guys with degrees who think smartness is spelling you as u)…

    As for the MMRDA and their signs,even spellcheck cant help. They convert Mary into Merry, and all over the JVLR, it says “Inconvenience Regretted, Please bare with us “:-)

  5. I’ve come across many such masterpieces. And I derive great pleasure in spotting such errors. And while I am at it, I offer a silent thank-you to Spell-check. Oh, what would I do without it!

  6. Ha ha! Nice post!

    I’ve seen the Mount Merry sign! And you know, they got ‘puncher’ wrong in Marathi/Hindi, too!

  7. GAY TRAVELS…..in numgumbakkam Chennai….no spelling mistake…..just the PUN in the name gets me hollering when I used to drive past.

    Awesome Post dude. I will try to collect soem great ones for you when I travel.

  8. If it communicates its language, and with wong spellings come the emotional part. Love all of it. Viva spell errors.

  9. Insignia says:

    Hilarious Kavi!! I loved the way you put in. Obviously!! without spell check life can be a drudgery. But have you thought the harm spell checks can do? Its the source of embarrassment.

    Check my post if you find time. My experiences with the spell check 🙂

    http://spice-n-ice.blogspot.com/2009/05/f7-anyone.html

  10. ♥ Braja says:

    Say three Hail Merry’s and go to the next blog….

  11. Kavi says:

    Nu : yes ! Some sort of dependency indeed ! I am just not comfortable these days with Spell Check !

    Neha : Now, who wouldnt want to go to Bandra !?!

    Radha : You are so correct ! the bloomers crop up despite teh best of intentions ! I have to agree there !

    🙂

    Ugich Konitari : Oh that smartness is a subject of another post ! MMRDA takes everything except buildings to new heights ! Including spelling. Incovenience Regrated ! 🙂

    Destiny’s Child : Same here. I derive such pleasures, that the guilt consciousness in me prompts me to write posts acknowledging spell chek ! 🙂

    Manju : Oops ! I didnt spot that connection.I will go out there the next time and see what do they really do !!!

    🙂

    Ryan : Gay travels !! LOL ! ofcourse, the others do too ! 😉

    Send me some more ! 🙂

    The Holy Lama : yes. Language is for communication. Do you think blogs would survive if readers were like me spotting spell errors ! No way ! 🙂

    Insignia : yes indeed ! yes indeed ! Lovely post that you have ! 🙂

    Braja : ah hail mary indeed !

  12. amreekandesi says:

    With spell checkers all over the place, sometimes i wonder if the entire hoopla over spelling bee competitions (and the inevitable Indian winners) is a bit misplaced.

    Who needs to learn any spelling anymore?

  13. Aleta says:

    Laughed from beginning to end of this post. 🙂

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