So there are some developments. This is as personal as it can get. Sharing them with you here is the most appropriate and pertinent. You will realise why.
Several of you, going by the tenor of posts here, must have guessed that there is something brewing in my life with an accent on the future. Well, it is here!
A few weeks ago a stocky man with matching yellow teeth approached me with a proposal that was too good to be true. First of all, he claimed to have read all my intemperate writing on the blog. Now whenever someone says that, I am filled with a strange concoction of emotions. Of gratitude, surprise with an ‘are you for real’ kind of feel. Worse, he said the blog had a ‘lazy elegance to it’. ‘Lazy elegance’ is something that I reserve in reverence for the cover drives of David Gower. It perked my ears so much that my face had to work hard to keep the ears stitched to their place.
‘We must meet’ he said, on the phone.
So we did. At a five star hotel. ‘I’ll pay’, he said, even before we ordered anything. He gave subtlety such a stretch that it expanded its horizons considerably and got a new soul. His accent was impeccable, the perfume that he wore stood out and there were no creases on the cotton trousers. These things don’t matter much, you would think. Well, yes and no.
But what he had to offer, sure did. A job. A new swell job.
“You have to travel to parts of the world, talk to people source stories of their livelihood, click pictures to embellish the stories and tell it to the world”. On his magazine and website that is. ‘ You have a an uncanny knack of connecting strange dots’ he said, revealing teeth that suddenly seemed less yellow than they were half an hour before.
You could well imagine that my heart was at a different ebb. A fight to conceal the height of the ebb ensued. With a certain self effacing grim look, furrowing my brow, I asked, ‘why me?’
‘Oh. I need a fresh perspective. A bloggers perspective’ He said, resuming sipping his peach flavoured ice tea. That was that. His effortless eloquence was wafting in its brevity, when the questions were a tad important. Important to me, that is.
I told him that I had to think about it.
“Look”, he said, “The money is good. It will cover your home loan, pay for a world class education for your daughter and leave you with enough money for your missus to be happy.” And with a taciturn smile added, “and ofcourse, for your books. Unlimited purchases allowed on company account.” I felt my stomach churn. I seem to have shared way too much on the blog. Or he had been reading my mind. He knew the right buttons. Damn.
But more was coming. He was just warming up. “Your first assignment will be in the Nordic countries. You can start next week..I mean, as soon as you are ready. We’ll have the tickets arranged” He continued. In a span of time that can be safely called ‘very short’, he made me an offer and in another fifteen minutes, increased it by 50%.
I felt like a flower. Floating in the air and resting on a leaf.
Everything was perfect. The only let down was perhaps his sense of humour. Which swung from the sublime to the silly. I didn’t know which was worse. His sense of humour or his own impressions of his sense of humour. But that’s another unnecessary side-story. Let me not digress.
In another fifteen minutes, he had got me to tamely agree to his terms, making them seem like my terms. “So, see you next week. My secretary Cynthia will reach out to you with the other formalities. She is a lovely lady and you better be nice to her”, he said. Letting out a loud belching laughter, that caused every eyebrow in the vicinity to arch in annoyance. I couldn’t care less. The row of yellow teeth seemed to be glowing white.
My head spun in happiness. We were wrapping up. He was preparing to go his way and to fill in a brief interlude of silence, “Is there anything that you want me to work on immediately?” I asked. More as a matter of courtesy than anything else.
“Nothing at all” he said. In quarter of a second, he jumped with energy filled gusto “As a matter of fact there is. Change your blog. Get your own website. And what kind of a silly name is ‘Kavi’s Musings’? You are not Salman Rushdie, are you? Get a website in your name. It will be good for you.”
I couldn’t connect this bit about Salman Rushdie. But then, my heart was all over the place to pay heed to hideous logic. Plus my head was still unrelenting in its spin as I saw the cotton trousers disappear into what seemed like a horizon.
I don’t know for how long I continued sitting in the five star hotel. The next I knew the missus was shaking me up. As a strong filter kaapi began to shake each nerve and wake every ounce of blood that coursed the veins, reality struck that the short stocky man with the silly yellow teeth had played the most cruel trick on me by making the offer when the eyelids were firmly shut in slumber.
Of course, the missus laughed on hearing the story as I pranced about the balcony with poise. The silly dream was still sticking.
“So, the next time, you meet the short stocky man with shiny white teeth, who offers you a pot of gold in exchange of you having to visit the most exotic places on earth, carry a camera around and write about them all, negotiate a better deal”.
“Like?” I asked. In irritation, with a ‘whats wrong with you’ tone. How better can the deal get?
“Well, tell him that your stories come alive better when the family is around with you in your travel.” She said that with great poise and without bating an eyelid.
I gave her a grim steely glazed look that I reserve for those moments where I have been conscious enough to realise that whatever I say could be held against me later on.
With the reflex action of a kid who has lost an argument to the class bully and goes around kicking the cupboard, I decided to do away with the blog and launch this website in my name. www.kaviarasu.com !
I hope you like it. Please tell me you do.The next time the short stocky man arrives, I must be prepared. To negotiate a better deal, you see.
The Man with the five star yellow teeth be damned.
We always take great delight in the fact that a friend has now moved into his very own house.
Best wishes .
Hey Kavi,
I knew something was amiss when you shamed your new employer for his silly humour. I mean anyone can take being called Buck Tooth or Ellow Teeth or some such but to publicly ridicule a man’s sense of humour is to invite the wrath of a thousand storms. Even Yudhishtra wouldn’t take truth’s offerings that far.
Congratulations on the new site. It is looking very nice indeed. Even if it doesn’t take you across the world on an all expenses paid jaunt it is worth persisting with.
Enjoy,
Vikram
It’s good.. Somehow even I felt that you need to have your own website.. one place to reach you and all your blogs..
Kavi, let me be among the first few to congratulate you on this new acquisition. Given the popularity of your work online, it was just a matter of time before you made your own home on the internet I guess 😀
Looking forward to you continuing with your ‘lazily elegant’ posts on this new space 🙂
The man with matching yellow teeth.
I have been watching for him as well, up here in exotic Minnesota. 🙂
Pearl
Next time the offer could be to write a book that wd be read by people around the world. You have it in you.
All the best kavi
Whatever happens, you’re gifted when to comes to wordsmithing Kavi. Your writing makes delightful reading. More power to you. It’s only a matter of time before yellow becomes while and while becomes gold. 🙂
Great going with the man with matching yellow teeth. How much gold jewellery did he have on 🙂 Definitely time for a book my friend..
🙂 you do spin quite well.. I believed it until the waft of the kaapi and the waking up part! ahaa.. the books part is so endearing 🙂
Your site takes too long to open.. Ok, Ok, just joking and taking usual liberties. Nice move on the website and I have been following your blogs too (though I rarely- read never- leave comments). I’ve met MY yellow buck toothed guy, except that mine has large ears that stick out like the handle of a jug and have bushy under (or is it over?) growth in them. But just as the teeth became whiter, the ears became smaller and the venture has been funded.
Very entertaining! 🙂
Love the new website, and look forward to continue reading your great posts here!
Congrats dear. It’s very exclusive inclusivity that you were considered for this unique life-centric role. Certainly, your expressions charmed him, so go ahead and grab the credit/kudos that come your way. Go, look, feel and share about the world that you’ll look through a different angle :o) After reading through your brewed but real story, I am only reminded of Subroto Bagchi’s title: Go, kiss the world!
Nicely done!
🙂
I am sure you will write and write more, with renewed vigor. in blog form, in book form, in tweet form..and take the pictures that go with the writing and vice versa.
keep it coming
🙂
Congrats Kavi & keep writing !
Kavi,
Was scared of your funding being withdrawn the way you went on about the guys teeth and sense of humour! Congratulations on the website Kavi! What’s wrong with KaviMusings though? Love the missus’s take on how to better the deal.
Congratulations!!! Am getting in touch with this new side of Kavi first time although personally we sit across compartments and work together. Would be happy to read your blogs, articles on this site henceforth.
Congratulations, Kavi! And don’t worry, someone will buy your site for millions and you will be free to travel around the globe. If not, you will end up earning millions from Google ads!
Congratulations Kavi!!
Stocky man with matching yellow teeth might be the man in the mirror considering the way you are going after your dreams- boldly, wildly, beautifully.
Might as well pack your bags and be ready for the trip.
Your sense of wit and twist are incredible. I will hire without a doubt to fulfill your dreams, if only had few more of those golden tooth… cheers , kavi
Ah, you picked yourself some real estate, eh? Nicely done Mr. Arasu. And oh, I’d go with the family and friends plan, else the job ain’t worth it. Don’t you think? 😛
Wish you many such more five star rendezvous in your backyard, now that you have your own space and all. Good luck and God Bless.
I bumped into this site thru Blogwatiji. And I’m so glad I did. Congratulations and I hope you sure do get a much better deal as your better half suggested. 🙂
Congrats. You foxed me. Pleasurable read.
I knew this was coming…because it is everyone’s dream and I sincerely hope that this dream certainly get fulfilled because you are worth it.
Congratulations on the new job and your own domain name. What an amazing job you have landed !!
I believed it! 😀 And such natural flow… 🙂 well why not in the future, a travelling blogger?
Midway through I was reaching out to my phone, ready to call you, you weaver of dreams!
Such a delightful read. This space looks really elegant. Good luck!
Hi Kavi
Amazing writing as always. Congratulation!! Very happy for you, your dream, and your new space. I believe you can convert this dream into reality soon!!
God bless!!
A very well written piece. I am happy to see that the dream has already started coming true. The website has happened. the stocky man with yellow teeth has booked his tickets and has begun his search to find this amazing writer who can tingle the senses and create magic with his words. Keep spreading the good word.
Just the push I needed to start working on mine too.
Additionally, I’m uncertain on how that detail on the yellowness of the teeth is making me feel. That, all the people with the ability to offer such deals are lala type, or that the yellowness has nothing to do with the coolness. 🙂
Upasna at Someplace Else
Congrats and it looks great! Looking forward to more pictures and words
I couldn’t help smiling! Your new look blog is awesome! One day the man will come.. 🙂
Kavi – congrats . might be little late in the day but very encouraging story . Wish you all the best