Naah-No gazing !

Its been on the dinner table for some time. As conversation that is. Its been on the parliament’s table. For the same reason. And its been successful fodder to trainers and training programs : For a variety of reasons. ‘Innovation’. ‘Self Belief’. ‘Keeping a promise.’ ‘Positioning’. And an endless more.

Finally, the rubber is meeting the road. After all ! Yes. The Nano is here. You can buy one online ! But hold on. Hold on. Dont go away. This is not yet another post cooing the wonder that this is becoming ! This post isn’t about the Nano.

(You sure must have read about the cobbler and the bus conductor queueing up to buy. And amongst the many images, i am also told by a neighbour of those driving into a Tata Dealership in a Ford Endeavour to check it out for their ‘college going daughter’. It would have fit into his Endeavour as a take away from a restaurant would have !!)

Closer home, a friend’s friend, has booked 3 Nanos for the home. For the wife. For the mother. And one, generally. Monthly installments on the car, my friend supposes to range in the range of Rs.1,500/- ( $ 30 ). Suddenly, the car becomes a distinct possibility for a small man like me.

Ok. Ok. No. No. This post isn’t about any of that.

This is a crystal ball gazing post into the middle and long term future. And now, armed with the might of my incisive arm chair wisdom & a looming Monday, these are predictions of what the Nano will do.

With the rich, the middle class, the inbetweens, the pretenders and just about everyone else ( save Mamta Banerjee ) wanting to get one, Indian roads are all set to change. India too is all set to change !

Circa 2015


a. Employment Generation increases manifold
: You need more policemen on the road. More mechanics. More arbitrators. More insurance agents. More scrap dealers. More driving schools. More RTO offices to grant driving licences. More agents in the same RTO offices. More road building machines. More operators of those machines …. You get the idea right ?

b. Construction industry is booming: With all the world on the road, where would you park. Of course, Parking skyscrapers are being built. And cars would be parked right up there !

Corporations across the country have made it mandatory for apartment complexes to house one more sky scrapper : The parking sky scrapper. With five cars for a four member family, you wouldnt owners to park in living rooms right ?

c. Meters’ Down : For the rest of the folks who still have resisted the revolution and chosen to go without purchasing the Nano are travelling by Nano taxis ! Mumbai no longer has Premier Padminis as Taxis. And Kolkatta has consigned all Ambassador taxis to Singur.

d. Fashions’ Up :
Fashion officianados make their cars fashionable. Paint their cars with objectionable images and articulate graffiti. If some local leader, didnt like it, they scrap the paint. If it costs as much as it does to buy, it costs a fraction to paint ! Better still buy a new one !

e. And a new culture is born: There is peace and harmony in the lives of all Tata Nano homes. When other cars bump into them, they are remarkably calm. If a police officer catches them doing something wrong, they are remarkably calm. For they have in them, the right of first refusal. I mean, they hand over the keys to whoever cares in that area, and walk away !

f. Shoe sales is way up :
Seriously. Now hold your breadth. Drivers, owners and brand loyalists of other cars are jealous of the Nano and its mass appeal. With a general air of irritability, they have been throwing their shoes around ! Now, a common habit ,that was introduced to them in 2009. So, shoe production is up !

Naah-No !?!

13 thoughts on “Naah-No gazing !

  1. Circa 2015 : If you buy 2 Nano’s , not only do you get one free, but that one comes with a attached base that gets self activated as a raft when roads are flooded a la Jul26, 2005. For just another 1000 Rs you get 4 fibre glass oars free. And A. R Rehman is working on special music to be played as you row thru the flooded roads. jai Ho.

  2. sarcasm, from Kavi?!

    😉

    was wondering how the shoe fit into all of this.. that was hilarious.

    never thought about it that way.. a use and throw car!

    🙂

  3. Priya says:

    A very cute and interestingpost from you Kavi:)) Good one.

    So NANO is nothing but na=NO and a big NONO. Just kidding. I am thinking will ther be roads to walk in near future when every single citizen buys a car:)))

  4. ♥ Braja says:

    No way you’ll get ME in those things…I think you know why, Kavi :))

  5. manuscrypts says:

    i almost commented as nanonymous :p

  6. *sigh*..circa 2015..Mamata Banerjee has been deported to Bangadesh in a Nano. In her farewell speech, she apologizes to JD and says she will promote Nano in Bangladesh where she will be contesting for the prime minister post!

  7. SGD says:

    Funny Funny post!! And loved Ugich & Roshni’s addendum to it!!

  8. manju says:

    Vey funny, Kavi! Now let’s see how much of this comes true! 🙂

  9. Pearl says:

    That bus looks crazy…

    Pearl

  10. tina says:

    No gazing & no throwing of shoes,so naah no!

    do not be so upset & make your face like a ‘gubbara’
    and never throw a shoe on anyone ‘dubbara’

    man who never throw shoes on anyone is good & wise
    ability to control ones anger well determines how strong a person is

    if the shoe is hit on the chosen one,
    they say it is bad luck for him for seven years on the run!

    you are very creative!

  11. Kavi says:

    ugich Konitari : Awesome !! Your crystal ball seems to hold many more possibilities !! Many more !! jai ho to that !! 🙂

    Sundar Narayan : Sarcastic…? No No Sundar ! I was just crystal ball gazing 😉

    Priya : Thank you ! And when everyone buys a car…it will be a major worry. Wont it be !?!

    Braja : yes..Yes..i know why ! 🙂
    Atleast i think i do !

    Manu : Nononymous !!!! LOL !! When are Nanobottles and nanowatches…there can be nononmous comments as well, right ?!!

    Roshini : Suddenly, the crystal ball offers some hope ! What say !?! 🙂

    Ankit : Hell othere…welcome here ! And no no…i was just crystal ball gazing 😉

    SGD : Thank you ! And the last word…you know.., its a nono for me 😉

    Manju : Thanks ! And lets see !! 🙂

    Pearl : This is the bus here. And just to help you contrast it to your regular commute…its a sweltering 37 degree centigrade here !!!

    🙂

  12. nsiyer says:

    Damn good. Nano in Gujarati is small. If the whole of Gujarat buys, na and no will not matter, and the last laugh will be of ta ta

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