Sightings

Notes to Myself !

Some things send me in a tizzy. Pompous talk, for one wins hands down. The other, is to see some ‘works of art’ ! Like the ones that i see in Ten rupee currency notes. Today i got four notes. And i plan to take them out of circulation.

And i wonder why people would scrawl !?!

Sampled here are four notes. And here is whats written on them. Not including the ‘i promise to pay the bearer..’

a. Pictorial Representation of ‘I love Mumtaz’
b. ‘I love Poondi’ stuck off and replaced with ‘I love Saleem’
c. A star and some other indecipherable script. I can read ‘Arsht Arsi’
d. ‘We are like this only’

a. For the love of the original Mumtaz, the Emperor Shah Jehan built the Taj Mahal ! So, if you cant afford it, must you leave a scrawl ?! To all the aspiring Shah Jehans of the world, if you have to showcase the love of Mumtaz, for heavens sake, go rent a flat, build a hut. Whatever. But spare the 10 rupee note ! Please !

b. And if you have doubts about who you really love and how to keep track as you move from Poondi to Saleem, may i suggest, you use a tissue paper. The currency note is for circulation, you see. On second thoughts, i wouldn’t give you that idea. I am recalling that statement. Now, jsut go buy tissue paper.

c. Ok. So you have this incorrigible urge to write. And practice your writing on currency notes only. Ok, so your father was the oil sheik, who has four wells somewhere in the gulf. Ok. Ok. But, at least, at the very least, write some stuff that we can read and understand.

d. And the last one. The next time, i catch you writing something like this, i am calling the cops. The mint. The RBI, anybody. Somebody. Ok. I promise to create so much noise, that , at least the next time, they would print a helpline for such traumatised people like me, to call and complain. Right there on the 10 rupee note !

Gandhi’s smile, was not always of approval.

Now, stop that scrawl.

Straight from the floor

So there is this gent who hurled a slipper at you know who. At first i thought of this to be one whole publicity stunt.

The cynical skeptic in me thought so. It could have been the Iraqis angling for some publicity, i thought. Or perhaps Al Jazeera. Or perhaps GWB himself to showcase how deft he was in ducking at anything and everything thrown at him.

I wasnt aware of other implications of this until i read that the demand for such shoes had shot up ! And that Col. Gaddafi’s daughter awarded this bloke with a medal of courage. And there was another dude who gave this shoe hurler a Merc. And there was another who gave, yes you heard it right, his daughter in marriage !

I cant believe this. People all around me spend a lifetime, studying, earning and trying to be someone. And here comes a chap, who gets a medal, a Merc and a lady…and all has to do is get his shoes off. Come on, there has to be justice in the world.

This act has created new jobs in the country i am told. I don’t know what it has done to GWB. But it sure has done one thing to me.

I look more keenly at shoes ! You know…generally at the floor. So, now, i know who polishes footwear. Who doesn’t. How shoes are worn. And those holes in the socks. And those slippers that were worn by the dinosaurs’ first cousin…all of which meet my eye.

And when i see a size 10 shoe, i give the wearer a second look. And usually stay a good 5 feet away, and practice imaginary ducking. At other times i think that for a 10 door Merc, 10 million dollars in hard cash, a beautiful girl in marriage, and a medal of courage….i wonder if i should start practicing shoe hurling.

Perhaps just practice it…You know..practice..!

But…(Sigh)! Something stops me. I wonder where this inertia hails from. I am just not able to do this. And i have repeatedly given up. And each time i give up, i know that my best chance of strutting around in a Merc is gone !!

Never mind. Now that i cannot drive that 10 door Merc, here are other images from the floor. That i present to you, my esteemed reader.


One, a mop, that i presume was used to mop the reception bay at office. I would vote it as one of the most functional spellings of English language.

And the other, that i spotted at a temple. SMS language seeps all through. Right up to the foot too.

2 much ! eh !

And for other readers who still have a certain tentativeness about my intentions, have no fear. I wear size 9.

Road to moksha !

The cycle of birth, death and migration of the soul is so commonly understood here! So much so, that kids in the neighbourhood speak about it.

( Overheard in the apartment lift, just as the lift is making its way to the higher floors.

Young boy, around seven / eight years. Wearing a big red T-shirt with ‘Tommy’ inscribed on it, clutching a ‘Granola’ bar. Accompanied by a middle aged man who hauls numerous plastic bags, apparently from weekend grocery shopping. Along with his paunch. Wife is missing from action today).

Boy : Dad if the lift doesnt stop at the 14th floor, will it take you above…? To heaven..?

Dad : ( Slightly embarassed )..hmm mmm

Boy : Thats great. Then you can be reborn as Aamir Khan !

Horror filled dad suddenly tries hard spotting cobwebs in the corner of a spotless lift !

So, that is that. Proof that everybody knows the story of a birth, death and rebirth.


My hypotheses is that children learn it from the way in which our roads are born, dug up, turned over and left to rot for some time. Until some time later, a brand new layer on top the existing layer is …i mean, given birth to !

Isnt that a perfect example of the cycle of birth, death and rebirth !


The alacrity with which roads are laid, and almost immediately, dug up for some maintenance work, sometimes is such a laugh riot, that it is not funny ! At other times, you wonder, why the tax payer should end up paying for such Sisyphean tasks that perhaps would put Sisyphus himself to shame !

So, for the tar on the road, i am sure, there is yearning to get Moksha. To be free from the cycle of the birth, death and rebirth ! So much like you and me ! But moksha isnt coming in a hurry. To you, or me.

Or for that matter, to the tar on the road !

Expert’s in Englis

Clicked in Madurai.
Apr ’07

‘I can walk English. I can talk English’. Or something to that effect was spoken by Rajinikant. And the audience would go gaga over that !

Oh yes. English has come a long way since it was the exclusive privy of the British, the Maharajas and the Dubash ! It has become fairly mainstream. Our domestic help at Madurai says, ‘Thank You’, ‘Please’, ‘Lift the phone’, ‘who is speaking’, ‘how are you’ and the like.

And that she does with so much elan, that it sometimes has people wondering who after all was on the other side of the phone !

Nevertheless, in a small city like Madurai, the desire of every other average parent for his child to speak ‘smooth’ English, is next only to his / her desire to be have a child http://healthsavy.com/product/xenical/ with fairer skin !

With IT organisations and BPOs in their pre-recession glory, ever threatening to open shop in smaller towns, organisations like Veta ( picture above) flourished. Suddenly, speaking English was not only a fashion statement, it could also prove to be a bread winner !

And so, in Bangalore or Chennai if you spoke an accented English, well, you were thought to be working your butt off in a call centre. But in Madurai…well, you still could peddle glory using your language ware !

Yesterday, a friend spoke to me from Madurai. He said that the scene is changing. And that , interviewers were suddenly checking grammar and spelling proficiency in interviews.

I dont know if this is true.

If it were, I wonder how many ‘ Expert’s in Englis ‘ survive !

Flower on the forehead !

Well, we in India have this love affair with flowers. And it is not the bouquet giving. That is very western. Living in a small town, giving flowers always meant a garland ! And the precincts of the Meenakshi Amman Temple used to house some of the best smells and wonderous garlands ever made !

Nevertheless, here are some pictures of flower marketers in Matunga. In Mumbai. Many years back, my dad published a book on ‘Flower Marketing in India’. Today, i guess the market dynamics would be markedly different.

These are two pictures from Matunga ! The flowers, the colours, the smells and of course the public who walk by to pick that odd garland is a sight to behold !



And ofcourse, many garlands end up caressing radiator grills. How hot the grills would be of course, depend on how old the make is !


Sometimes they caress headlights too !

But to me, the ensuing snap is the ultimate evidence, that ‘the flower’ is part of us, our roads and our living. If you don’t like a garland or a bouquet..you still can do with one flower. Or two ! As you can see here.

‘A flower behind your ear’ in Tamil colloquial parlance signifies a fool or a dimwit ! But a flower on the forehead (to the best of my knowledge) is yet to be defined. And a flower two feet above your head..on a suspended aerial…well..that indeed is taking it to a different height !

A different suspended height !

Commonly Different

Notes that i pick up on the street usually have held my attention. Here is an earlier example! And here are a few more. Some messages stun you by all the power punch that they pack ! Others leave you squirming with all what they lack !


Whether they pack or lack, it gives me a strange pleasure to look at these messages, absorb and perhaps let go of a smirk. Or laughter. In disbelief / anger / joy / muted feeling etc etc.
I keep clicking pictures of them, and here are a few.

Now, these appear different to me ! The other day wife tole me, with a straight face and a serious undertone, the commonest of things appear different to you !’ I gave her a long hard gaze. And just as i was going to say something, she realised that she didn’t have to look further to understand ‘b-o-o-m-e-r-a-n-g’ !

So here are a few apparently common sights, that appear…well..er…slightly different to me. I leave it to you, the reader, to plough on. And may be chip in with what you think, i was thinking !!

Image : 1
Coin ‘problem’ !

Image 2 :
Message for the times that we live in ! Inadvertent, i presume

Clicked at Mahabaleshwar
Oct ’08

Image 3 :
Made in China extends to Thali now ! Hmm

Clicked at Mahabaleshwar
Oct ’08
Image 4 :
Ok. What say ?

Clicked at Mahabaleshwar
Oct ’08

Image 5:
Is this an ‘Upside Down View’ or
Is this what is called ‘Overview of the city?”

And if you are wondering…the picture is indeed attached correctly !

Clicked on Lal Bahadur Shastri Marg, Kanjurmarg,
Today

Common ? Different ? Commonly different ? Differently common ?

What ?

Posting to Give… !

Call me a pedant if you wish, but there are certain things that i cant connect to. One such is the ad that i saw. And such ads attract the click quotient of my finger and the blog quotient of the mind.

So here it is.

An ad that beseeches me to buy Pepsi and pop corn, because of which Rs.10/- would be donated to the education of a girl child.

Would you buy that Combo offer of Pepsi and Popcorn? ( And that too called Classroom Combo) Just because, a grand sum of Rs.10/- would go to educating a girl child as you you burped and munched. If I were you, i wouldn’t.

What can such ads do, at the least ?

Perhaps, reduce the volume of the protests made by a conscience deep inside you.

‘Aerated drinks are bad’
‘Popcorn adds to calories’
You just had two ice creams. Post dinner.
This movie is not going to be worth all of this.
Anbumani Ramadoss will be angry with you’

and such other choruses would be drowned in one line : ‘after all this is for a good cause’ !

That idea seems to serve the devil, who wouldn’t know the difference between Pearly gates and Watergate. Perhaps.

Peddling junk food in the name of learning & charity is as low as it can get.

That too with a bold a tag line, as bold as ‘learn to give’! Making a virtue of every post Pepsi burp and pre-consumption burst of corn. And does it not sound as though, folks who stay a good planet away from such jumbo double whammies, are loathsome misers who will guard Rs.10/- with the might of a certain Raj !!!

Filled with a certain degree of malignant ill-feeling, I write. So, even as the poster cooed ‘learn to give’, i just had to write this to equalise. In my own Lilliputian world, I just had to give it back to Pepsi and Popcorn !

One morning at Mahabaleshwar !

The still chill morning air of Mahabaleshwar was inviting. Inviting enough for me to ensure i won a battle with slumber and was out on the road that you see here. Of course with the camera slung across the shoulder and wife in tow !

We marvel at the birds chirping. In the silence of the morning, many new sounds come alive. Like a distant rustle of the undergrowth. The swoosh of the shaking tree, long after a bird left its perch. A dog urinates in a distance with gay abandon.

Today, there is just nobody on this road. Just me. My wife. My camera. And a great passion to soak up that morning spirit and perhaps capture as many images as the camera would allow and perhaps have simple conversation.

We walk. And walk. And walk. I notice we talk less.

I spot a bird sitting right up on a tree. In complete serenity and comfort. I take aim. A few snaps later, i zoom in. Suddenly his head pops up. He looks in all directions and with a great hurry flies off. I wonder why. The camera was silent. So was my I. So was the misssus. Then ?

We continue our walk. I see a unique flower in royal splendour. I try hard to get all of it on the camera. With a focussed mind, arched back, squinted eyes and a mild tremble in the hand.

And then I begin to hear movement. Some rumble. At that moment, up ahead where the road curves, i spot two men jog towards us. I shake my head. ‘Ah. The fitness types.’ I think.

And return to look at the flower by the road, through the lens of the Canon.We hear a dog bark. A loud bark. The beauty of the flower overrides the ferocity of the bark. I continue staying where i was.

Click. Click. Click. As though moving an inch here or there would cause the flower to wilt !

And then i hear engines. A distinct slow yet steady engine. Engines. I look up from the flower, wincing at the noise. I notice that the stick in my craw, happen to be the two gentlemen who are jogging towards me, followed by two monstrous Land Cruisers at a steady trot.

With a sardonic wince at the interruption to a quiet morning, i go back to the beloved yellow flower. Only to be disturbed by louder barks. Boww Boww Boww ! The barks go.

Now i am alarmed. I look away from the flower. And then at the two men running towards us. Followed by those oversized white vehicles on this http://www.eta-i.org/valium.html narrow road. I still am looking for those dogs.

At that instant, one of the two men, a big burly fellow, shouts. ‘Boww’. ‘Oww’. ‘Boww’ ! I am now really alarmed. I pay real atttention to the two men now.

The one running ahead is in a red tracksuit. Goggles. et al. The big burly fellow is in a safari suit. At that instant something strikes my infantile mind. I look at the chap in the red track suit with a lot more intent to identify.

Anil Ambani !

Ah. I think. In a few seconds, he passes us by in brisk pace. Followed by the big burly gent in a safari suit, shouting like a dog. At 6.15 in the morning.

And then, the first big car passes us. And then, the next one does. A few pairs of eyes look at us from within. An egregious air permeates what was pristine, just a few minutes before.

With a vengeance i return to my beloved yellow flower. My mind still with Anil Ambani and his safari clad mimicry artist. “Who does he think he is ? The world is not his. Where is equality ? ” and such other sundry questions race to the forefront.

And then i look in his direction. By now, I can only see the backs of those big cars. And think of his life. How must it be to have a truck load of guns following you when you go for a morning walk, i think.

I pity the man. Not that he has asked for any. And not that he will have any value for it. But this is what i feel. I wince through the lens. The yellow flower is shaping up well.

And then i think, ‘what does he have that i dont?’

Well other than, those mimicry artists, huge cars, billions and a mention every other day in every other news paper worth its name, nothing much. Ofcourse, thats not including a fueding brother and a saddened mother!

Click. Click. I get the yellow flower. It looks pretty good.

I wonder if i would like to trade places with this gent.

Not that his place is on offer. Neither is mine! I vehemently shake my head. Of course not. “mera pass ‘peace of mind hai’ ! ( I have peace of mind) !

Anil Ambani and his entourage must be far away. I dont hear them. And where the road takes another curve, there is a new flower i spot. With a dew drop tethered to it by sheer magic. My sentient camera readies.

I am glad i saw him. For suddenly, i seem to relish the dew drop more.

Four Steps. For All Seasons !

A week back, a Sunday morning saw a strange romance on the balcony above. Now that the moral police is hyperactive and beat up any kissing and cuddling in public places, this was a rare moment indeed. Almost on reflex the camera was out. These are resultant pictures.
The pictures are a poor indicator of the sheer magic that happened. Like an art movie in the hands of a rookie camera man, who has no interest in movie making. Those minutes were not only magical, they were mystical too.

There were two pigeons who arrived from nowhere. Wings flapping and making a strange noise. Looking up from the Economic Times that was there in my hands, this was quite a sight. A sight in simplicity ! One of love that was simple, profound and with no fancy schmancy ! I watched, almost in a trance. This was precisely the balm to the Economic Times and all it contained !

They took straight positions. Their investments were in each other and in that magical moment. And this was the sequence !

Step : 1

Step 2

Step : 3

Step :4
And this four step process was almost a process in a 6 sigma set up, with an audit team in tow ! Oblivious to the drones of big air crafts or the faint http://premier-pharmacy.com/product-category/womans-health/ clicks from my camera, these steps went clockwork !

For almost a good five minutes ! Allowing me time to drop the newspaper, pick my camera, unpack and shoot those four snaps in quick succession.

Almost to announce the completion of the snapping on the Japanese lens, a swift breeze flapped the newspaper a trifle too hard. Perhaps it was the shaken Nikkei blowing hot and cold! These folks looked up from their intense moment. And looked in my direction. I froze. Almost like an implicated sleaze peddling paparazzi, catching a private moment of a public princess on lens.

They lingered there for slightly longer. I stood still. Camera in hand.

The Economic Times caught the breeze once more. And fluttered harder. The stock market had wiped out whatever weight in the economy. So !

A propitious sidle later, they flew. What a voyeur like me couldn’t do, the economic times did! But what the economy & our times couldn’t do, was to stop unbridled beauty of mother nature staying on offer. To anyone who cared.

Suddenly ‘stock market’, ‘bail outs’, ‘Paulson’, ‘sub-prime’ and such other ‘words of the season’ sounded like petulant jargon dropping from a broken time machine.

Soft Wares As A Service !

Clicked at Madurai Aug ’08


Staying with market innovations, here are examples of two ‘services’ that are offered. Soft Services. Or rather ‘soft’ ‘wares’ offered as service to customers !

In the hustle bustle of downtown Madurai, is this small store. It started out as a tea shop, and today, you get everything an office goer would need, from photocopying to hot coffees and idlis. And oh, by the way, you can also get your mobile phone’s battery ‘recharged’ here !

The business model is simple. If you are purchasing something from the store, be it an idli or anything else, the phone charging is ‘free’. If else, you’ve got to pay. No, its not a kings ransom. Its not even a sentry’s ! But how much hooked does it get you to go this store !

Clicked in Sion. Mumbai. Oct ‘8

This is a mobile ‘ear cleaner’ ! He moves around on foot, and i was impressed with the fine array of ear cleaning tools that he carried !

The chap cleans up your ear, for a pittance ( i am told ) and he does a great job ( i am told ) and he is supposed to have a clientele who would lend him their ears, gladly ! When i saw this soft ware in action last week, well, lets put it this way. I was impressed !

These soft wares are new to my eye. The first one : an innovation arising out of modern day living. The second, i guess was an age old practice that faded away. Looking novel to a modern day dweller !

Both soft wares. And both services that would come in handy. Charge up. Listen up !